Delight Changes Desire

Today I want to share with you a very simple truth, but hopefully one that will get you thinking.

Psalm 37:4- Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.

When you read this verse you, like me, probably instantly skip your eyes to "he will give you the desires of your heart." If you do this then you are left with some very reasonable questions such as...

Why am I not getting what I want?

I have good news for you. The answer to this question is found in the first half of the verse. You will notice that the verse has a condition to it. In fact, the focus of this verse is not about receiving the desires of your heart, it is about delighting in the Lord. If, and only if, you delight yourself in the Lord, HE will give you the DESIRES of your HEART.

So lets break it down even more. If we delight in the Lord, what does that mean? It means we delight in what he delights in, in this context it means we want him MOST. If we delight in the Lord then he will change our hearts to desire what he desires. What he desires is what is best for you and his kingdom. What he desires is much bigger than earthly desires.

Finally HE will give us these new and pure desires. No one else will. He may use others but we will come to the knowledge and realization of HIS giving. Therefore we will thank HIM. Our gratitude will overflow for each moment despite what we feel.

Our body is not our own, may we delight in the maker of the universe. I don't know about you but I want the joy of Paul in my heart. That Joy, the joy of delighting in something bigger, was strong enough to pass through hell on earth unscathed. The joy of getting what I want is so pathetic and frail in comparison to that.

You can't know what you don't listen for

The Truth will set us free. Everyone likes the sound of that, but in reality we accept the opposite. We exchange the truth for lies that fulfill us, lies that make us feel better, lies that temporarily give us power.

 Matthew 7:6 - Do not give the dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet and then turn and tear you to pieces. Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For who asks receives; he who seeks fins; and to him who knocks the door will be opened.

Why is the truth so important then? It is important because it exists to be sought after. The most irresponsible thing any man can do is to stop seeking the truth or knowingly settle for a lie. Truth exists. There is either a God of the universe who deserves our praise and devotion or there is no God at all in which case we should give him no thought whatsoever. If you don’t seek the truth then you will not find it. If you don’t find the truth then the consequences are absolutely catastrophic. It’s easy to procrastinate in our journey to the truth because though the truth frees us, it also convicts us to some sort of change that we don’t want to make.

Matthew 7:14 - but small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only few find it.

 Truth is not just answers to philosophical questions, it is vital in everything we do, in every single relationship we have with those around us. Truth prepares us for healing and action. But we already know this don’t we? You cannot treat cancer if you do not first learn and accept that you have it. You cannot give your child his favorite super hero action figure for Christmas unless you know that that is his what he wants. You cannot make a wise decision in a relationship unless you know the truth. It is our job to seek after the truth, for once we find it then we are prepared to make the right decision. We cannot get rid of sin in our life unless we find it and accept that it exists. You get the point.

Proverbs 1:5 - let the wise listen and add to their learning and let the discerning get guidance

Understanding the importance of truth is just the first step, yet wanting the truth isn’t enough to find it. How then do we find truth? The answer is so simple. We LISTEN.

James 1:19- My dear brothers, take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

Throughout the Bible the phrase “he who has ears let him hear” is used may times. The phrase calls all those who can hear, to listen, to understand the importance of truth and to act on it by listening not just with our ears but with our hearts and minds. You can pray to God every day and not listen to him. I know this because I am guilty of it. Often times I pray a list of concerns and feelings to God that are real and true and then I ask him to speak to me. Can you guess what I do after I ask him to speak to me? I say amen. How can I know truth if I speak yet I don’t listen. How can I find the wisdom to make the right decision if I don’t ever listen for it! Wisdom is given to us. It is never created in us. Wisdom is gained when we listen to others, to God, and when we pay attention to our own experiences by listening to what they have to teach us. You cannot know the truth about the brokenness in your relationship with someone else and how to fix it unless you listen for the truth. That means you listen to the other person, you listen to God, you pay attention to your own actions, you listen to those outside the situation looking in.

James 1:22 - Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.

Truth is absolutely essential and when we understand it we have no choice but to act. When we listen to the truth of our Lord Jesus Christ, his lordship, and yet his incredible humiliating and glorious sacrifice, we will not be able to ignore it! Seek truth and you will find it. But if you don’t listen for truth then you will not hear it. You will not reconcile with each other, you will not grow stronger, and you will not have the opportunity to live life to the fullest. 

4 easy steps

Listen for Truth

Pray in Truth

Act in Truth

Speak in Truth

Dirt

Tomorrow morning I will be leaving to begin a summer of work at church camps. The task has been daunting and the idle time I have spent at home has sometimes seemed like degeneration. I truly believe that the worst thing we can do with our lives is be idle. At least if we are making mistakes we have the opportunity to learn from them. When we are idle it takes the grace of God through a thump on the head to get moving again.

With all the idle time, I have been consumed with the idea of preparing for the ministry that is before me. It was only a year ago that I was a camper, how can I expect to be Christ to these kids? I will playing the drums all summer but it is more than playing the drums, how do I play the drums for God and not get in the way of other people's experience? How do I stay humble through it all when pride is one of my biggest weaknesses? How do I have the energy to get up everyday for the rest of the summer and be enthusiastic for these people? How do I invest in someone with a totally different background than me? How do I memorize all the good scripture necessary? How do I live like the shining example of Jesus Christ that I am expected to?

All these questions lead me on a spiral downward. I begin to look back at all the "dirt" in my life. I look back at times where I hurt others, where I said something stupid, where I tried so hard to fit in that I broke my own values or someone's heart, where I struggled with lust, where I lost faith that God even existed? The path leads me through a house of horrors that features the worst of my sins. These sins present me inadequate for the task before me. I'm sure everyone reading this has been there before. How could such a fallen creature hope to bring glory to a perfect God?

Then I saw this video. Please watch it all the way through to the end and listen to the lyrics. It is truly powerful.

 

I know this summer is going to be amazing because I trust that God can do amazing things through me. I will choose not to take into account my dirt because God chooses not too! It is such an amazing thing to understand that the greatest heroes of the faith had their own dirt and that it was only through their faith in God, not in themselves, that they were able to bring Glory to him and do great things on this earth. God washes away our dirt and grime and gives a new identity. That Identity is in Christ Jesus.

Jesus lives in me, and though I have my dirt, he does not see it. My chains are broken and I must remind myself again that the key to victorious living is understanding that Jesus Christ has already won.

Life Muscles

Meet Zydrunas Savickas A.K.A. Big Z. Big Z is from Lithuania and he is one of the strongest men in the world. At the age of 17 Big Z took part in his first strongman contest and decided to commit himself to strength athletics. Now he can squat over 880 pounds and he has won the strong man competition several years in a row.

Where am I going with this? I want you to picture your life as my friend Big Z. Granted not everybody wants to be obnoxiously huge and ripped but bear with me for the sake of the message I am trying to get across. Big Z represents your potential, and you can grow to become him starting right now.

I know you have heard the analogy a hundred million times, but listen to it just once more. You must go through training to reach your full potential. Big Z devoted his life to becoming stronger and he did. So how do we apply the training to our own lives? Well I think the first step we can take is to recognize how we can grow, how we want to grow, and more importantly, how we should grow.

Big Z Identified that he wanted to get stronger before he did strength training. If he would have just started training and decided to run ten miles a day then he wouldn’t have gotten stronger. Big Z had to determine who he wanted to be and the type of training it took to get there as well as the things that wouldn't help him get there. That should be obvious right?  Well I am afraid it isn’t so obvious for us in the area of life. In fact it is becoming a rare thing to find someone whose lifestyle matches who they want to become down the road. And like with any training, you are becoming more prepared or adept for something. If Big Z did run 10 miles everyday he would be training himself into an excellent distance runner but not a strength athlete. Does your lifestyle match up with who you want to become? Do realize everything you are doing right now is creating you into something whether you know it or not?

Lets say for instance that someday I want to be a faithful husband or wife with happy kids that look up to me and respect me. If I was sleeping around, going in and out of relationships impulsively, cheating on people, looking at pornography, or consuming people because of what they can give me then I would be sorely mistaken to think I was prepared to be that faithful husband or wife. Is it possible to change, yes. Don't count on being the exception though especially if you know better right now and still are choosing the wrong path. As Ron Kopicko would say "you are the fathers and mothers of your children RIGHT NOW". Becoming better at those things means making decisions right now to grow into that person. We can't do one thing now and expect differently down the road.  We are ALWAYS becoming something but are you becoming who you want to be?

 

Another thing about identifying who you want to be is that you cannot make this decision based on a person, a job, or other circumstance. Instead of saying, “I will do what it takes to become a good future spouse of my girlfriend or boyfriend” you have to say “I will do what it takes to become a good spouse.” If you build your life around a job, financial situation, or person, then it will likely collapse. Who you are must stay the same wherever you are.

So now that you have identified who you want to become you have to identify what kind of “training” it takes to get there. I want to be a man who authentically pursues and represents Christ. To do that I can get in the word daily, memorize scripture, etc. Those are all great but I don’t think I really need to tell you them because you get told them everyday. If you aren’t doing a devotional and you are expecting to grow then you will be disappointed.

The real training comes when we stretch our everyday life muscles. This is where it gets fun. This simply means get out there and do things.  Do something you have never done before, pick up an instrument, go serve at a homeless shelter, make friends with someone you usually wouldn’t, play pick up games, go to a third world country for more than a week, go skydiving, just do it all! These things grow you and stretch us, especially when we do this in ministry. When we go outside our comfort zone we will grow, guaranteed.

So to summarize it all; Be like Big Z. Figure out who you want to be, figure out what you are doing that doesn’t align with that, figure out what disciplines you can do to grow you in that direction, and stretch your “muscles” by stepping outside of your comfort zone every single day.

When asked if he would do anything differently Big Z responded "No, because I got first place."

Klondike Bar Jesus

Klondike bars; Apparently people would do a lot of stupid stuff for them. I want to tell you that I would trapeze Niagara Falls while juggling knives on a unicycle given there was a Klondike bar waiting at the other side, but then I would be lying to you. The truth is I might not even will myself off the couch to the fridge, which is only 5 feet away. However, that begs the question; Is there something that I would trapeze across Niagara Falls on a unicycle while juggling knives for? The answer is a proud and bold “YES”.

There is a common misconception about life’s biggest mystery. People often ask; is there something worth living for? The answer is yes, but the greater and more significant question is; is there something worth dying for? The great philosopher Kierkegaard puts it brilliantly. I would like to once again thank my professor Paul Patton for introducing me to such wisdom.

The animal dies out of necessity; man, as spirit, can give his life because there is something worth dying for. To live, not out of habit but because one knows why life is worth living, and to die, not out of necessity, but because one values something more than life itself.

(Kierkegaard)

I believe the most fantastic thing someone can claim is that they have something worth dying for. Christ showed that to him, we were worth dying for. When we accept Christ’s defeat of sin on our behalf, we aren’t just saying “cool beans” lets be buds. When we accept Christ we are embracing the overwhelming, spine tingling, and exciting thought that we also now have something to die for.

So if you’re in my boat, then you say all the time, "I’m willing to die!" You might even say, "God I want your will in my life." I’ve been praying the “not my will…” prayer for some time, but I’m not sure I (or too many others) really understand what that means. It is one thing to die, another to sacrifice life.

This brings me to the awesome and powerful book of Ezekiel. Studying it has been incredible, specifically the first few chapters. The book begins with a divine appointment with God. Whenever this happens in the word, soak it in. This is God in the best physical description you will ever get. So yeah, Ezekiel is like “whoa bro, this is pretty crazy, I think I’m gonna bow down and hide my face”. But God tells him to listen, and to obey. 

God commands Ezekiel to “speak my words to them (the rebellious house of Israel), whether they listen or fail to listen” (Eze 2:7). God goes further to say that the house of Israel will not listen. 

As you read on into Ezekiel 3 it got crazier. God gives Ezekiel a scroll, with words of “lament and mourning and woe.” God then tells Ezekiel to EAT IT. You don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to understand the metaphor here. Ezekiel, by eating the scroll was yielding to the will of God, which for him and Israel meant mourning and woe. My favorite part is that Ezekiel describes it as “sweet as honey in my mouth”.

             

Well Ezekiel goes forth to the Kebar River where the exiles are. Then he feels a deep sense of purpose and begins working with peace and joy, ready for any challenge that might face him right? Nope, scripture says he arrives at the Kebar River and sits for SEVEN DAYS because he is OVERWHELMED by his task.

             

After the seven days, Ezekiel is commanded to warn Israel by preaching every day for 300 days while lying on his side, and surviving on one measly loaf of bread, which was to be baked over his own excrement. God commanded this of him specifically. The story goes on but we can stop there. Read it for yourself, there is so much meat in this scripture.

There are several expectations that are shattered in the book of Ezekiel. God doesn’t always call us to successful ministry. Ezekiel, though a unique case, was called to preach essentially to deaf people. The first question then is to ask myself, would I follow God’s plan even if I didn’t see success, hope shared, people saved, or lives changed?

Being in God’s will isn’t always a peaceful thing. God let Ezekiel be overwhelmed. Am I ready to go and be overwhelmed? Ministry isn’t a luxury ride. I’m sure many others who have more experience in ministry would vouch for that. And when I say ministry that encompasses all Christians, not just our pastors and ministers.

I expect that God is going to do incredible things that will fill me with peace, joy, and blessings. If God told me to take his will and that meant a life of mourning, woe, lying on my side, and eating bread baked over a fire using my own excrement to fuel the fire would I do it?

I have come to the joyful conclusion of “YES!” There is an unexplainable joy that is unwavering in the Lord when you are eating the will of God no matter how dark it may be. So in away we are profoundly blessed and filled with peace, just not in the way we typically expect.

We should be empowered by the truth that we not only have something worth living for, but something worth DYING for. Therefore death has no sting, what hardships exist now have no hold, and what plans God has for us now exist from now until eternities end.

There is a fight worth fighting.

There is a world worth loving.

There is something worth dying for.

Panama City Beach: A generation of the unimpressed

In Panama City Beach I refused to buy a snow-cone because I was unimpressed with the sample I got. Yeah I appreciated the free sample, but I wasn't impressed enough to spend three dollars on it.

This is how we operate, for better or for worse. We choose what is most impressive, if we can afford it. They go hand in hand. 

So I have a little bit of a stab to take at the church, which includes me. Why do people turn down Christ when he is REAL, when he gives ETERNAL LIFE, when he CHANGES HEARTS, when he LOVES, when he is absolutely FREE. 

Think about that for a moment. Picture the best thing you could ask for and then imagine someone just handing it to you. Shoot, if I rush off the road to get a free Krispy Kreme donut when the light is on then why don't people come by the thousands to receive Christ?

Last week I, along with 21 other students, went down to Panama City Beach Florida where we ministered to the spring breakers there by giving them free rides and free pancakes. The saddest thing wasn't even seeing the brokenness in many of the people but rather the amount of radically unimpressed kids. Many of these students who were boozing it up all week had been to church their whole lives and flat out rejected it. Why is that? And don't you dare blame it on adolescence, thats how we lose entire generations. If someone encounters Jesus they won't go away the same, the ball is in their court at that point.

The saddest thing I heard was when students spoke of how other Christians treated them, how they didn't even care about them as a person but instead had a conversion agenda. Reality check, Jesus didn't have a conversion agenda, he had a love agenda, people CAME TO HIM. Whats worse is their are actually people telling these kids they are going to burn in hell. I dont care if you are sure they will or not it is up to God. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE SOMEONE'S ETERNITY. You are called to love, to "preach and sometimes use words" as St. Francis of Assisi once said.  

I am here to boldly say that the problem with the church is that we have failed to impress for thousands of reasons that we are ok with ignoring. While we are spending our strength condemning those who abort their babies, fighting gay marriage, and hating Obama, their are people looking for a church that cares. They are looking for a church that doesn't sit on its butt and scream when someone takes away it's toys. They are looking for a church that comes down into the darkness of the valley and shines their light, a church of real people who really care, a church OVERFLOWING with LOVE in ACTION. 

A friend of mine had a conversation with a spring breaker one night. Really long story short, that man said he SAW JESUS in her eyes. Well how is that possible? Its possible because she had Jesus behind those eyes. Its possible because she loved that man and didn't have an agenda to "save" him. Its possible because she loved Jesus and by pursuing him with her whole heart he was inside of her. What does "saved" even mean anyways? This man left the conversation saying his "mind had been opened". What is it that someone recites a prayer? We should be opening hearts and minds not mouths. The Holy Spirit does this, we are just called to consume the spirit and let it shine through our eyes (literally or figuratively) so that others can encounter that spirit of love in us. 

So I want to challenge the church, myself include to stop preaching to the choir, to stop recoiling from the sinner, to stop enjoying its little church tea parties and go to a bar where there is someone who is broken that just needs to know they are loved. 

Loving is holding a bag for a drunk kid as he pukes, love is telling a "slut" she is a beautiful creation when her boyfriend just ditched her, love is going to the man rolling up joints and asking him how he is doing, love is getting to know your atheist coworker better, love is making a meal for the widow down the street, love is inviting the loud and often times drunk neighbors for a BBQ, love is dying to yourself for the needs of someone else whether they accept Christ or reject him. Can we start impressing people with what we do? Love also must exist within the church, that is crucial, but we aren't even doing that. Phillipians 2 says to be one in SPIRIT and in PURPOSE. That is the extent of our unity. We are to have the Holy Spirit, and have the purpose of administering love. Conversion is up to God. 

I am convinced that if these spring breakers saw Christ in their church or even just ONE person, then most of them wouldn't be looking for fulfillment elsewhere. There is something wrong with that fact that many would rather buy a snow cone than accept the gift of Jesus Christ. Let the burden sit on your heart, and let it move you to act. Dive into this world and you will be amazed to know how many people just need to know that SOMEONE cares.

Caring isn't enough

Let me shatter a reality for you, my reader. A reality that has overtime been broken for myself. You have no rights, they are simply an invention of America.

Before you get all up in arms about blasphemous ways I want you to step back and be willing to listen. Please listen. I believe in the convicting truth of what I am about to say.

Its called ethnocentrism. You have probably heard about it before. Ethnocentrism is when one makes judgements on another's culture based on their own culture as the "correct way of living". The first step to accepting what I will tell you is dropping this thought process, understanding your a minority in the world, a speck in history, one idea in 7 billion, created by God yet fallen away, doomed to never get it completely right, "limited".

That being said, what is the reality of the world then? There are 925 million people in the world that are malnourished. There are millions of people dying in wars, genocides, of AIDs, diseases, and malnutrition. There are millions trapped as sex slaves, people are earning a next to nothing and certainly not enough to put food on a table but they continue to work 12 hour work days. Its not just around the world, its in our own backyard. There is toxic pollution affecting communities, people without jobs, children without parents, people without opportunity to become anything but the next "burden". In light of this can I really say that everyone should get an education, a home, a car, a meal, a friend, a wife, a dream, life. These aren't rights, they are privileges!

What does that mean though? It means that we need to pull out this American ideology by the roots and replace it with a heart after God! And don't even try to say they are the same or even similar. Christ didn't go around preaching inalienable rights. He gave up his own! I am asking you to look at the starving child from now on with compassion, not with the thought that he deserves something but that Christ loves that starving child so we MUST love him/her as well. Doing so authentically of course. If you don't know how, ask God for help ;)

I am asking a difficult thing, it is just as much a challenge to myself. I am asking to drop all selfish ambition. Please refer to Philippians 2. I am asking you to understand that going to school isn't your right, that living tomorrow isn't your right, that having a car isn't a right, that finding a beautiful husband or wife isn't a right, that accomplishing your dream isn't a right, that security isn't a right, that your salvation isn't a right. I am confident that wherever we go we are not called to horde our money "just in case" instead of using it generously and trusting it to the care of the Lord who is the great provider. I am confident that we are not called to find a secure job and raise a family then think about working for the kingdom of the Lord. I am asking that we do that now. Does that mean that we sell everything, grow a beard, eat locust, and fight evil? No, though you should not be surprised or indignant if indeed God decided thats what you should do. I am saying pursue the Lord, give up your rights to him. Don't wait to have a secure life before serving others. This is not a condemnation of the rich, rather a challenge to motives for all.

I realize I am just an ignorant youngster with high ambitions... I take that back, I don't realize that. Jesus had high ambitions for the world. He said radical things. He was an extremist for love as Martin Luther King Jr. would say. Are you claiming rights? I know I still am, but I am working hard to let go everyday. If I die tomorrow, I won't die alone. thousands if not millions will die around the world too. Who am I to say I deserve to live? Every breath is a chance to do good, how can I waste a moment? Not to say we should serve 24 hours a day either. God invented the sabbath for a reason and we need these in our daily lives.

"Shit, A million people around the world are dying of hunger, and all of you are more concerned that I said shit in church than that a million people are dying" - This was quoted by some pastor that my roommate told me about, I can't remember the name but it is an excellent insight into the church's problem. Lets get concerned about the big issues instead of our petty ones that satan uses to distract us from the needs of the marginalized. We are privileged with the knowledge to help, the resources to help, the time to help, and the GOD to help. So what are we waiting for? Lets not spend another moment spending it selfishly on ourselves! Let us become champions for Christ each day while actively giving up  our own rights for the sake of others, whom Christ came down and died for.

Authenticity

Lately I have dwelt a lot on the idea of authenticity. The concept is so intriguing to me that it has led to serious self inspection, as you may have read in my last entry. Authenticity is a huge deal and the first step you can take is a step of willingness. So please, willingly step with me into a zone outside yourself once again.

Defining the word is usually a safe way to begin this kind of thing so here goes.

Webster Definition

1) not false or imitation; real.

     2) True to one's own personality, character, or spirit.

I especially like the first definition. Don't be an imitation! Don't be false! 

The church is filled with fake people. We are often just imitations of something we want others to see but not who we really want to be. Granted we have all been fake at times and fake people can be found proportionately throughout any environment.  However I find it extremely dangerous in a Christian one because it is so easy to do. Listen to what the apostle John had to say. 

John 5:44- How can you believe when you accept praise from others yet make no attempt to obtain the praise that comes from the Lord. 

And thus we find the problem with living in an environment of believers especially young ones. The big question is, am I who I am to impress others, to make friends, or to find a spouse, or am I am who I am because it IS who I am. Sorry, I overused "I am" a bit in that sentence but you get the picture. 

I want to hone in specifically on something I feel many college students struggle with and that is relationships. I know I have struggled with it myself. It is so easy for us to idealize ourselves and express ourselves in such a way as to get someone's attention. Its what society tells us we have to do. In a college atmosphere of discontented single students, this creates a problem. The only way to counter it is to know WHO you are. You are not a mirror of the wants and needs of others which is so easy to fall into. Trust me, I know. Every personality assessment I have ever taken stresses this is my weakness and that has proven true many times. However, with Christ as my center and my identity, I find peace to be me. It actually has become a good measurement as to the authenticity of my relationship with Christ. If I am seeking the praise of others then it is because I have turned from the praise of God. PLEASE UNDERSTAND THIS THOUGH; enjoying praise is DIFFERENT from seeking praise. It would be stupid for me to claim I don't appreciate and find encouragement from the praise of others. We should daily be giving out praise to others as well! Seeking praise is exactly how it sounds: all of our actions are reduced to one sad objective; to gain just a little bit more praise from those around us.

It becomes much like an Inception scenario when you look into things like, am I acting in humility so that others know I am humble? Am I asking God for strength so that others see me as strong? Do I speak of Christ as my center because I want others think more highly of me? These questions are hard to ask and they convict me even as I write this.

Authenticity is not consistency in perfection but rather, consistency in how our behavior reflects the condition of our heart. Everybody is capable of being authentic right now and if that looks ugly then we know we have work that needs to be done in our hearts. Does that mean authenticity is telling everybody   how you are feeling? No. Does that mean if you are broken inside you should cry all the time? No. It simply means don't say one thing and do something else or vice versa. It means be honest with those closest to you and humble with those you meet each day. It is authenticity in values and not necessarily emotions. Not everybody needs to know you're a wreck (most of us are) but they do need to see that your values are unchanging and planted firm in Christ, not for your own sake.

Check yourself and examine your motives. Don't just do it today but every day and before every conversation. Your authenticity has eternal weight to it, you cannot afford nor should you want to settle for a simple imitation.

Who's driving your oil tanker?

The pretense of togetherness and peace is a broken man's ghillie suit. Only the fool thinks he has reached the end, bandaged the wounds, fixed the problem, found the solution, straightened the path, obtained the knowledge, and conquered the objective. So its time for some introspection; its time we face the fool in all of us.

The past few weeks have been "good" weeks for me. God is revealing plans, giving me opportunities, and teaching me all sorts of new things. I know that now, but it took some self investigation to catch the virus plaguing my flesh. That virus is pride.

You see, I was exploding with the pretense of togetherness, the idea that I can't be wrong. After all, I went to Interfaith AND Lansing this past week serving the homeless and the alien, I had to be doing it right.  So there it was, I had figured it out. All I needed to do in life was devote this time to serving, this time to praying, this time to school, this time to friends, say nice things, smile, and show love. That's it right? Wrong. These things happen to be good, but not everything good is done with the right intentions, the proper authority, or the appropriate source of strength.

A pitiful attempt at using paint on my laptop

If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

1 Peter 4:11

As I began my own introspection to my bewilderment I asked, "Is that a blind monkey trying to drive and oil tanker through a mine field?" Nope, just Stephen Husk. Since you have taken the time to read this far in, please allow me to feed you with a new kind of reality check. You're a blind monkey trying to drive through a mine field. But hope exists! In fact its not just hope, it is sureness, it is truth, it is a promise of the Lord in heaven.

Friends, God happens to be Jason Bourne when he is behind the wheel. Do you know what else? He is sitting in your little passenger seat. What would happen if we REALLY gave him the wheel?  I don't know about you but I have always wanted to ride along with Jason Bourne during one of his epic car chases, but I am even more pumped about what God can do. He can lead us into places we never dreamed.

But what does it mean to give God the wheel? That is where the self inspection comes in. What aren't we giving to God? And don't say that there is nothing you haven't given to God. There is always something and we can't gain this perfect trust without God helping us out. It takes "Job moments" to truly give everything to the Lord, try asking for humility that comes from the kind of brokenness Job experienced, I dare you!

For me pride was infecting my body. Every act I did was for the public eye to know, everything was so that people could say, "he has it together," when really I was just a blind monkey driving an oil tanker through a mine field. This selfish selflessness is a disease rampant in every Christian community.

The thing that is truly suffering, at least for me, is my secret life. We must daily give ourselves to God in secret. We give ourselves to God when we are alone; just our thoughts and him, nobody else to pat us on the back or hold us accountable. So ask yourself, do I have a daily secret life with God that nobody knows about? This secret time is a measure of our own authenticity, something that God desires for us. It rejuvenates our spirit, enabling us to serve him even more. It gives him the wheel so that crazy stupid awesome things might happen, and they will! All we must do is give him our life to be transformed to his will, not our own; to his glory, not our own; to his power not our own; to his objective, not our own; to his reputation, not our own; to his people's peace, not our own.

Go in secret with the Lord, its where he separates the men from the boys. Quite frankly, I still have some growing up to do, but without introspection pride could have infected my entire being for years to come. Now I can grow in his direction. I encourage you to do the same.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6

Your Dream is Waiting

To my reader, I have good news! God has a dream for you that will blow your mind. However, your fears are probably getting in the way. Let me tell you what I mean.

I remember the first time I ever played the drums in front of an audience. After playing Rockband for two years I had decided it was time to take up a real instrument. A month later I found myself on stage for our youth group. When I get really nervous, my ankles itch. Weird right? Well my ankles were itching like no tomorrow. How could someone like me who had no music experience be playing worship for these people? Just yesterday I was thinking it would be sweet to play for the band and now I am in the band. So I prayed to God in that moment and asked that his name be glorified (I may have also asked him not to let me embarrass myself hehe). Sure enough, it was an amazing experience and I got a ton of encouragement even though Im sure I probably played pretty terribly. 

So here I am three years later, and I am getting paid to play on a worship team with a seven other college students and travel around to different church camps. What a crazy opportunity right? Guess what? I'm scared to death! But I know God will lead me and I also know how depressing life can be living in the comfort zone lying to myself about how great things are going all the while knowing there is something I am missing out on. 

Before I went to Kenya I was scared. Could I even survive in Kenya for three weeks? Could I raise money to go? Could I still have a summer job? All of these were uncertain until I actually made the step of faith and went. Turns out I got a sweet internship despite the three weeks I had to miss work, I raised more than enough money to go, and the trip itself changed my life and the lives of others in profound ways I could not have dreamed of. 

I could go on but I am not here to impress you or tell you that trusting God is peachy the way you think of the term. If you want to be impressed please just ask for other people's stories. I am still young, and my experience is small compared to many of the giants before me. 

You see God has an INCREDIBLE plan for each one of us. I know you have heard about this plan but I hope you can listen to me and open your heart so that God might convince you of it. 

Is fear holding us back? Can I tell you something? I think God is big enough to handle whatever problems you throw his way. 

Imagine then if you will. You are sitting in your comfortable little house, with your comfortable little TV, and your warm cup of coffee. By the door is God dressed for adventure. Perhaps you envision Indiana Jones or Aragorn. Whoever it may be, he asks you excitedly "are you ready to go?" For a moment you let your eyes leave the TV and you see his ernest but joyful expression. "Its gonna be sweet bro! You gotta trust me!"But leaving would mean getting up out of the comfortable chair and missing the rest of your favorite television show. Finally you say "No, Im just not ready yet." God gives smile and a nod and sits down beside you. "Well, I can wait for you then."

Do you see the tragedy in this? There is something incredible waiting for you out that door. God is much bigger than those things. Do you trust him? Do you believe that he has a plan for your life? Faith is part belief but also part action. Faith is making the leap despite all of your fears. Perhaps you are older and you think it is too late. The beauty of it all is that God is still waiting, he has not left you or taken a nap. You may never know what could have been, but there is so much more that can still be! If you are young like me, then hear this. Write down your dreams; write down who you want to be and not just what you want to do. Live each day holding the hand of God and letting him lead the way. And no matter what happens, know that the Lord is with you. I am certain that I would rather live God's dream for me than in a comfortable house, with a comfortable cup of coffee, and a comfortable TV set even if that means a life of persecution like Paul had. 

Can you imagine what our reaction would be to God's plan in our lives once we reach heaven? I will be much more pumped than these guys were when they reached the bottom of that mountain (watch to the end to hear their reactions) . Heck I am more pumped for the few things he has done already! Can you imagine looking back at that mountain knowing you just dominated it? There is only one way to find out!

Trust God, I think if he created and sustains the universe then he must be able to take care of you and I. Tell Indy "Heck yeah, lets do it!" Then without a look back, suit up and head out into the unknown behind him knowing he will be with you the whole way. 

P.S. If you have a request as to what I should write about please let me know! I may be ignorant about it but I will do my best! Thanks!

What if there was a God?

        Let me preface this entry with this thought. What if God asked you tomorrow morning "those look like some tasty Lucky Charms your eating, mind if I sit and enjoy them with you?" Funny right? maybe a bit absurd, but otherwise just a good laugh and not much more thought put into it.

        Now Imagine this if you will. Pretend with me for a moment that there is a God. Indeed a mighty God. Try to wrap your mind around what the implications would be just this once. Imagine this God, creating everything from the smallest cell to the vast infinity of outer space. This God, programming every strand of DNA to fulfill a purpose. A scientist and an artist. Big enough to create infinity, surpassing what we call time. This God, living in the present, the past, and the future all at once. This God, creating the sun; a great mass of flame that would serve as light and warmth. Imagine him measuring with his heavenly ruler the distance to the earth, not an inch too far or too short but just enough. Just enough to sustain you and I and every other living thing. Imagine his heavenly city if you can. Imagine it, surpassing the glory of the entire universe. Can you see it? Is it even possible to fathom? This God, he cannot be measured, he cannot be understood; his glory is so incredible that if we were to look him in the face we would die.

Too often I try to put God in a little box, one that cannot exist. God created the box, his existence is so mind blowing that not even a million scholars, scientists, priests, pastors, psychologists, or philosophers could hope to understand him. Yes, this is the God I believe in. Thankfully God doesn't leave us in the dark though.

        This God, the same one that mapped the heavens and measured ends of the universe, loves you. This God created you and he knows you better than you could ever know yourself. This God wants only to spend time with you! This God, the ultimate creator, king of kings, Lord of lords, omnipresent, all powerful, superior to the best of the best, worthy of our worship for eternity, programmer of our DNA, the one who provides for the lions and gives the wild ostrich its speed, who designed it all out of his own unfathomable imagination, the savior of the world, the father of our fathers, the fountain of all wisdom, the conqueror of kings, the masterful artist, the brilliant scientist, the incredibly underestimated, the profoundly pure, the purely righteous, the righteously just, the justified high priest, the ultimate sacrifice, the beginning and the end, the mighty and the humbled, the glorious and the spat on, the victorious one; yes... this God, he loves you and I.

        I only hope that you understand one thing; this God, were he to exist, cannot be fathomed. We are so small and we understand so little, but our God loves us. Our God came to our level, he limited himself, and became Jesus Christ.

        Imagine then, what you might do in response to such a profound truth. Imagine if that God were to come knocking on you door tomorrow morning and ask, "Those look like some tasty lucky charms your eating, mind if I sit and enjoy them with you?"

        I wish I could understand but I can't. Its impossible to comprehend that as I ate my Lucky Charms this morning, this God I have described to you, wanted to enjoy them with me. I think if I did understand then my life might look a little different; my dark times might be a little brighter, my bright times might be a little bit less about myself,

and all my times would be spent in awe that my God 

simply 

wants 

me.

The Fight

Why cant I just let go?

My selfish thoughts bury me in a harsh and heavy snow.

The only escape is the warmth of your light,

That you might melt it all away before I lose this fight.

But Im afraid of that day,

For I cant fathom how much it cost you to pay.
And when all the snow melts away,

I don’t want you to see the mess I’ve made.

Because God you are my lover,

And I am your murderer;

I hammered the nails that bore you up,

When you knocked I slammed the door shut.

When you cried out I mocked your face,

As you bore my sins I closed my eyes in disgrace,

When you rose again I turned from your embrace,

When you called my name I ran away.

But Lord you didn’t stop at that,

Because no power of hell could ever hold you back.
You chased me down into the valley,

And as I wept in the dark you were beside me.

You looked at me and said you loved me;

You didn’t point fingers, you didn’t cast blame;

You said you knew my pain,

And you wept.

Now I understand a glimpse of your sorrow;

For God you are the pursuer of my heart,

And when I reject that love,

I tear yours a part.

But you took me away in your embrace;

You carried me out of my miserable place,

And on that day I praised your name,

For I knew nothing would ever be the same.

And as the first light of morning over the native ridge,

Grace and mercy brought me over the cross you made bridge;

The trumpets sounded and the feast began,

Making me wonder why I ever ran.

Now your rod and your staff they comfort me;

The peace of your presence sets me free.

Down by the river my roots grow deep,

To the sound of the rush I soon fall asleep.

You Lord are my lover and you wont let me go;

You have melted away all of this snow.

I rejoice because your beautiful and penetrating light

Has already won the fight.

Love is on my mind: Lessons learned

I know that a lot of you read my last blog entry titled “love is on my mind”. With permission from the subject of that entry I am writing this to follow up with everyone. My hope is that you can take something from everything I am learning through this situation. If you didn’t read the post before then don’t bother to look for it. I took it down for obvious reasons but I encourage you to read this anyways and apply the lessons as you see fit.

First of all, I learned I have a great friend. I don’t regret pursuing something with her because she was definitely worth pursuing. As you can guess she did not feel the same way towards me but because of her incredible maturity and character the situation turned out to be a good one and I believe we have a stronger friendship and trust because of it.

However there is still the inevitable pain. I don’t think I really need to explain that. The pain was very real and not at all pleasant. Through the pain, God is teaching me a lot about myself. Im learning that I have a bigger ego than I thought I did. This greatly upset me but it also helped me turn even more to God and hold less for myself. I have wanted more than anything to have a real relationship and to love someone but it is not going to happen on my own time and It will not be her. Coming to terms with that is perhaps the hardest but most important thing. For now I have to give over my desire for love to God because I don't know how long the wait will be. I do know this though, the wait will be worth it!

It takes time and acceptance to heal anything. I know this is like a papercut in comparison to many hardships others have experienced but I think that the lessons can still be applied. Please comment or correct me if I am wrong.

Take chances. Life is about taking chances. I have a poster of John Wayne on my wall that says “Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyways.” Its funny because this poster actually motivated me to do something about my feelings. But we also must know that courage doesn’t equal victory. We can saddle up and come back wounded but If we never saddle up then we miss lessons, opportunities worth pursuing, and we become slow, apathetic, lonely people.

I only have one regret in the situation, and that is that I posted my feelings for all of you to see. Granted, I know many of you enjoyed the post and may have even benefited from it but honestly, nothing that personal should be posted. Most of all it was probably awkward for her even though not very many people knew who I was talking about. It was just a very foolish thing for me to do and I hate public drama. Don’t mistake me though, I don’t regret what I said at all. I would have said it to her either way, but it should not have been public. New rule for myself, when emotions are running high let somebody else who is neutral read your post before posting and better yet, don’t post at all. By posting that I made myself even more vulnerable and I don’t like feeling like everybody knows I just went through something tough. I also don’t want the situation to become about me, and by posting that I was being pretty narcissistic thinking people other than my close friends would actually care. That’s not supposed to be a sad or self-hating thought at all, I only need to recognize I have an ego and I shouldn’t feed it.

Friends. We need friends to talk to but even more so parents or mentor figures. These mentor figures have so much wisdom to offer and if we want to make the wisest decisions we must seek that wisdom out. Being around others is the fastest way to heal anything. Give into the pain for a bit and experience it because that is ok but don’t mope for long. Get out and be with others you care about. Serve people.

Talk to God. The best thing to pray for in these situations is for learning. Ask God to teach you and to be with you. God is our one true lover and he deserves all of our attention and more. The pain of rejection helped remind me of how incredible the pain must be for God when we reject him even after the whole hearted sacrifice he made for us. Of course, the woman in my scenario cant be related to us rejecting God. I don’t even want to imply that. She obviously did the right thing unlike humanity rejecting its creator. I also don’t want to imply that my pain was anywhere near that of Christ’s but ANY pain is a chance to better understand Christ’s pain.

Action is what counts. My parents taught me this lesson. During those first few days I had to constantly remind myself of this. It is in these times where my emotions are off the charts that I must stay true to God, my values, my character, and my convictions. It was tough doing so many things that directly contrasted with how I felt. To do this I had to make a list of what I wanted to be, and who I wanted others to see me as so that I still might bring glory to God. I am trying to stick to this, and I have failed a few times but all in all it has helped things heal much quicker and it has prevented me from making any stupid decisions. My actions matter, not how I feel.

Thank you all for being encouraging and I hope you will continue reading my blog, not as a source for drama, but a source for growth, life lessons, and wisdom.

Pursuing Wisdom: Invisible Wealth

Don't give me riches or fame, women or friends, power or honor, but wisdom. For wisdom is as precious as rubies; rarer than the holographic Charizard I sought after as a kid.

Wisdom is the cause and the effect. Wisdom is the result and the result of. Wisdom is attainable by all, pursued by some, and found by few. 

Proverbs 1:20-21

Wisdom calls aloud in the street, she raises her voice in the public squares; at the head of the noisy streets she cries out, in the gateways of the city she makes her speech

Wisdom is heard by all, listened to by some, and followed by few. 

What is wisdom then, can I claim to understand it? Well, I have pursued it for some time. There is no age limit for wisdom. I have sought after it since my father encouraged me as a child that I had made a "wise decision" by taking out the juice jug before trying to shove the milk jug in the fridge. I liked that. So I pursued it. Have I attained it? Yes and no. Wisdom comes in bite sizes, choice morsels. I have taken several bites out of a sandwich you could say is too big for me. All I hope to do is encourage you to pursue wisdom, for it would be hopeless and contradictory to simply explain it here even if I could.

Worldly wisdom is simply how we cope with our life. It is, as Dr. Patton would say, the Cheeto to get us through the next 10 seconds of our "miserable existence". 

True wisdom comes from the Lord. It is fed to us through experiences, people, silence, and most importantly, the word of God. You must understand that Wisdom is given by God but consumed by us. You cannot obtain wisdom by simply reading. You could not even obtain wisdom if Jesus himself were here to explain it to you. The disciples didn't and they ministered with him everyday.



Proverbs 2:1-6 says this...

"My son, if you accept my words

   and store up my commands within you,

2 turning your ear to wisdom

   and applying your heart to understanding—

3 indeed, if you call out for insight

   and cry aloud for understanding,

4 and if you look for it as for silver

   and search for it as for hidden treasure,

5 then you will understand the fear of the LORD

   and find the knowledge of God.

6 For the LORD gives wisdom;

   from his mouth come knowledge and understanding."

We must pursue it! Those who don't want to believe will not believe, but those who pursue wisdom and understanding will find it. I believe that is a promise. 

But you must know this, Wisdom will not bring you to wealth, riches, power, or fame. In fact, wisdom might just pull you the other direction. Wisdom is obtaining a perspective that shatters all barriers and finds life in what we see as broken. Wisdom is self disciplined, thankful, patient, prudent, kind, courageous, and content. Wisdom is not dealing with our "miserable existance" but understanding just how wonderful it is and a making the most of every second. 

Therefore, pursue wisdom and carry with you love; for wisdom without love is nothing.