I used to say that I'd rather live like a Christian even if God wasn't real. But now I know that if God isn't real then being a Christian is the worst thing you could do with your life. He calls us to give up everything, to take up our cross! Do we know what that means? Part of it means to die to self by clinging to the death of Christ. Dying was never supposed to be a pleasant thing yet we treat Christianity like it is pleasant. I treat Christianity like it is pleasant. In reality, Christianity is about a world damned to hell without the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ coming down to save us all. Christianity is about a God becoming nothing, taking the very nature of a servant and becoming obedient to death for our sakes and for his father's name sake. Clinging to the world means death. Christianity is not pleasant it is an overwhelmingly joyful and painfully urgent call to the world by the Lord of the Universe.We cannot love death and life. The people who understand this are the starving pastors throughout the world, the tired under appreciated elderly praying for a broken world day and night from a nursing home, the single mother in the intercity desiring to raise her children and love them, the rich man trying to maintain integrity while surrounded by calls to apathy and pleasure, and the confused orphan trying to forgive his parents' murderers in Rwanda. I am scared to ask God to help me understand because it seems like a painful understanding.
My friends, we must cling to Jesus. I try everyday to believe in him though sometimes it feels like I don't. I try so hard to remember the fingerprints he has left in my life and to understand his will. It is hard. Questions arise and there is sometimes confusion. Sometimes I cry to him and sometimes I yell at him because I just want him to appear and tell me where to go or what to do. Following him is so rewarding but so tough. Most of you know better than I do that desert seasons are wretched times of painful growth.Yet if pain is what it takes to understand salvation then I want more of it!However, in all our struggle, joy, pain, doubts, and victories we must remember this. The Lord God of the universe has walked in our shoes and been victorious. The Lord God of the Universe, our dad, has carried us through flames seen and unseen. Our dad has suffered our shame and condemnation. Daddy died, so we wouldn't have to. Daddy loves when we do not and he is patient through every thing, not willing that any should perish. Daddy understands.
Though I often question many Christians because of how seriously they
take God, I have to remember that whether or not we take God seriously,
he took us seriously and died for us. I could criticize all day but God
is king despite the level of our devotion and his salvation remains a
free gift that we must simply receive. Thus after my rants I am brought
again to my knees reminded that he has a plan at work in this world, a
plan that involved my salvation. My wretchedness is not unique. Please take this struggle seriously. Please understand the magnitude of what we are a part of. And please understand that the point of it all is that we can't do it, that Christ is the only true hope, and that his strength is promised to those who follow him.
Thank you God for who you are, for how you answer prayer, for giving us life, and for first loving us. Bring me home, reveal to me my sin so that I can hate it and flee from it. Make me pure by reminding me of my humble position and your sons precious blood. Make your people holy. Pour out your grace on this world. Thank you for your patience.
Amen.
